(perhaps a little Kenny Loggins running through your brain). For all my lovely friends who take the time to read my blog, thank you, thank you, thank you...I really do it to get the feelings out, but it does help so much to know that you care.
In particular Roseanne and Cathi always follow up to make sure I am doing o.k., so I just wanted to take a second and let you know that most of the time I really am doing o.k., once in a while even good, and on the odd occasion fantastic. I tend to be motivated to post here when I am having a particularly bad moment (which still does happen, and will probably be accelerating over the holidays). But we are enjoying Annie so much (and Rachel too now that the pain and suffering of finals is over) and I am actually kind of sort of looking forward to Christmas (Happiness with a small side order of dread). Heck, I might even start shopping this week!!!!
There are still some really difficult times, and writing them here allows me a chance to "talk about it" because it has been almost 8 months, so there is some expectation that we be better and people who love us don't want us to be sad, so they can get really uncomfortable if we are...in a way this happened to all of us--that was really the message we got when Sophie died, our friends, our sisters and brothers, our kids, our nieces and nephews, coworkers, etc...this is the unthinkable, unspeakable thing and it sent shockwaves through all our lives. But everyone else didn't have Sophie in their daily lives, and so have been able to move on ---which is good---no it is great, and it is the way it should be. Mike and I, Annie and Rachel, we will change, and things will get different, but we will never "move on" We will live full lives and seek to honor Sophie's memory by remembering that life is too short for "someday" But for as long as I need to or want to, I'll be writing here when things are tough.
I thought it was worth saying that I am doing pretty good and that I value and appreciate every friend, family member, and even stranger who has supported us.
Happy Holidays!
3 comments:
We love you.Gretchen
Hey Grace,
I didn't know about your blog until I got your card but just read the whole thing. Can't even imagine your pain but am amazed at your strength and desire to do great things in Sophie's honor. We're here if and whenever you need us.
Brian Good
Hi Grace,
I too did not know about your blog until I received your beautiful Christmas card. I think about Sophia everytime I see her crib and you know that is daily. I know this Christmas is going to be a rough one. My thoughts and prayers have been with you daily during this holiday season. If you need a shoulder to lean on please know I am here for you.
Love,
Patti
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