Anger Management

If you are someone who really wants me to be o.k. and thinks I should be better by now....I'm great...so read no further and have a Jolly Holiday!

I have been managing to be very angry lately....It is tough, because I am trying hard not to, but I can't seem to contain it. I am snappish at work and at home and easily frustrated, irritated and pissed off. Thankfully my family is very forgiving.....and what is at the root of this anger? I can't say exactly, I know it is related to Sophie's death, but it I can't quite pinpoint the source. Am I mad that she died, hell yes I am...but that doesn't do any good....Maybe I'm mad because the whole world keeps right on moving along and I want it to stop. I want everyone and everything to come to a screeching halt and think about Sophie and what happened to her and how awful it is...of course I know that is unreasonable, life goes on and I must also, but boy how petty and out of proportion so much of life seems.....If only people could know how little I want to care about egotistical tug-o-war pissing matches at work, about who said what to who about whom, about whether we ever get a renter in our condo.....I hate that I have deal with these things. I just want to wrap myself and my family in a giant down comforter and hide away from everything. Especially Christmas.....I'm like the grinch I wan't to stop Christmas from coming...but rather than take every body else's Christmas and dump it, I would just climb to the top of Mt. Crumpet and stay there.....

At the very least it would be so nice not to have any other stress in our lives right now...If the real estate market would turn and we could dump both our rental properties....neither of us has the energy to be landlords right now and we are going to pay the price for that later....if we didn't have worries other than ourselves and the kids, what a relief that would be. Laundry and a teenager who won't do her homework...that I think I could handle--I'd even give up my cleaning lady! A mountain of real estate rapidly losing value, not so much....hard to deal right now.....

OK...time to put on the happy face and make gingerbread people (how PC)....