A sad, sad day....

Yesterday was the 16 month since Sophie died date--it also marked the day that she has been gone longer than she was with us...I hadn't been thinking about it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks right during a meeting with the executive staff.....It is almost like time passing is worse...because I get farther and farther away from my memories of Sophie. I'm going to leave early, not just to avoid the Barakorama going on here, but I need to go spend some time at the cemetary.

I haven't blogged in a long time--I haven't done anything. I don't talk to or see my friends very much anymore, I feel like nothing matters except my family, I am in such a rut--not extremely sad all the time, but just not happy and also incredibly anxious. I've tried meditation and medication, I just don't think there is any cure for the black cloud...there is nothing that can make me feel better...

We started talking about adoption, but it got too painful so we took a break....just want Sophie back...soooo bad...