Yesterday was the 16 month since Sophie died date--it also marked the day that she has been gone longer than she was with us...I hadn't been thinking about it, but it hit me like a ton of bricks right during a meeting with the executive staff.....It is almost like time passing is worse...because I get farther and farther away from my memories of Sophie. I'm going to leave early, not just to avoid the Barakorama going on here, but I need to go spend some time at the cemetary.
I haven't blogged in a long time--I haven't done anything. I don't talk to or see my friends very much anymore, I feel like nothing matters except my family, I am in such a rut--not extremely sad all the time, but just not happy and also incredibly anxious. I've tried meditation and medication, I just don't think there is any cure for the black cloud...there is nothing that can make me feel better...
We started talking about adoption, but it got too painful so we took a break....just want Sophie back...soooo bad...
Snow Globe
10 years ago
2 comments:
try Jesus.
He is the only one who offers joy in hope, in His promise of eternity, in being reunited with our loved ones. In Jesus you will find true compassion. I have found refuge and comfort in Him, as I also sit under that same dark cloud you speak of. This friday would have been my daughter's second birthday. Each anniversary feels like a new loss. In April 2007 I lost my 7 month-old-daughter. Now I mourn her as my would-be two year old. People that haven't experienced a loss like ours expect that our pain will decrease as time passes. They could not be more mistaken.
Thinking of you today.
Anabella
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