Keep on the sunny side

Annie has strep, but the bright side of that (not that there is one really) is that I am not completely freaked out by it. Of course it just so happens that today I read an article in a magazine about a little girl who died of a virulent form of strep. But, I'll keep my cool and if I have any doubts at all about how Annie is doing, off to the ER we'll go.

This has been a bit of a tough week--there is a family here in Arvada that lost their 3 year old suddenly (he choked on a hot dog). For some reason it has really affected me, even though it is completely different than Sophie's death. I wanted to go to the funeral but didn't for two reasons--First, I am not sure how psycho it is to go to the funeral of people you don't know--although it would have been ok with us (as a matter of fact, the cleaning people who came and cleaned our house the day before the funeral came to Sophie's funeral because they had also lost a daughter) but you never know. Also, I just don't know if I could have sat there and watched a family go through the pain we went through. So in the end I was only stalker enough to find their address and send them a card....

It stired up some things in me and I did a lot of reliving this week. I finally wrote little notes to the cops who showed up on the scene. That also may sounds crazy, especially since it has been over a year. But for someone like me who is very social and outgoing, I find it strange that the two people who shared the most horrific moment of your life, and in a lot of ways the most intimate, you never see again. I also wanted to thank them for going full out with CPR and such to try to get Sophie breathing again even though likely they knew she was already dead--they didn't leave anything to chance......

Know we are doing well, things have gotten markedly better in the last month, although there are still moments...thanks to those of you who still read this....even if no one did I would still write.....