Thursday, November 27, 2008

Sophie's Horn

Annie told us the other day that Sophie had gotten her horn (we were confused thinking she did something bad and got a devil's horn) Turns out that she has been so good in heaven that she got a horn to blow at the gate to call in other babies that have died. Amazing.....apparently she has welcomed 1o other babies into heaven.

I am thankful

As I sit here this Thanksgiving Day reading my post from last Thanksgiving, I am so thankful that I have come so far in the past year. I am thankful that I feel thankful for anything, because I think a year ago I did not. Also I am thankful for the stable jobs Mike and I have and also for our wonderful children. For my Mom and Dad and their continued good health, my sister, who is one of the most amazing women I know...and all the usual, home food, family and friends....but really I am the most thankful for the amazing love and support that we have received in the past 19 months and still continue to receive....I am thankful for my parents and my sister, who think it is fine for me to still have hard days and still listen when I cry, for Annie, who keeps us posted on the visits Sophie is making to her, for Rachel who is always ready with a hug and for Mike, who is beyond amazing and understands me better than I understand myself.
I am thankful for everyone who helped us survive those first terrible days...for Nancy and Todd for dropping everything and coming to the hospital, for being there for us during the worst moment of our life, Renee too and to Thom and Jodi for rushing down here despite Jodi being 8 months pregnant. For Mike's Mom, Dad and Val, and my parents who somehow miraculously all appeared that very day. For Cathi, Kathy, Kathy, Lur, Ellen, and Kristin and Kirstenwho were here immediately and often during the days after. For Renee without whom Sophie probably would not have had a funeral yet. For all the amazing people I work with who supported us with food, visits, phone calls and understanding and who still continue to support us with love and caring until this day. Thankful for Mike's friend Mik who was hear for him and for Link and Kirk who flew in just for the funeral...my friend Kim who came all the way from Texas for the day...to everyone who came to the funeral or the house afterward...to Rachel's friends and their parents who made sure they were there for her.....For Nancy who organized at least of month of drive by feedings and to everyone who drove by and fed us.... I am thankful for Dr. Shah, who is the most compassionate, kind, and caring physician that I have ever known. I am so grateful for my college buds--Erin and Jen who came the week Mike went back to work so I wouldn't be alone, and Karen and Roseanne who came later when Mike went away for the weekend---they continue to love and care for me and I couldn't survive without them. I know I have missed a million people, but anyone who has listened to me (Gretchen, Tina, Mary, Antoinette, Tatum, Isa, Gregg, and my boss, David LaFrance. Oh and Maureen--my am therapist) Without all of this support I would not be here today being thankful.

Today I am thankful that Mike, the girls and I are together, I am thankful that Jen is finally pregnant (shhhh..don't tell), that Roseanne is home from the hospital, that Maya Manning was born early but healthy and is home enjoying her first Thanksgiving with Mom and Dad. I am thankful that I live in America and that the economy has not devestated my family, that Charlie got found in the Dallas airport. I am thankful for the wonderful supportive friends in my grief group
(although not thankful that such a group even exists or that we have to be in it). Thanks to Anabella who continues to read my blog even though we have never met and to Perry, whose daughter also has Asplenia.I am thankful that my friends kids are happy and healthy and that we live in beautiful Colorado. I am thankful that through the efforts of my high school BFF Jill, I have reconnected with her and some other high school friends as well....
I have so much good in my life, it didn't take Sophie's death to make me realize it, but you all really shined during this tragedy--we must be really good judges of character!!! If I forgot to be thankful for you, please don't take it personally---I am just running out of steam. Mostly I am thankful that I can feel joy at a holiday, I didn't know if I ever would again!!!