Ba-Humbug

Well, sort of. I am not anti-Christmas, but just not motivated to get into it this year. Mike and the girls got a tree today so that is a step in the right direction...I think the holidays will be a bit of mixed emotions this year. I have always loved Christmas...giving presents, being with family, peace on earth and all that crap. This year it may just be a reminder of all we lost in 2007 and Sophia's absence will be glaring....I miss her.

We had our last night of grief group last night. I was amazing to see everyone laughing at the end....a wonderful sight and a far cry from the first night when we were all crying before we could even get started. Anyway, I hope we all do stay in touch--we are different people for sure, but we have had the worst thing that could happen happen to us and we are all members of the same crappy club.

Annie really lost it last week....she was yelling and screaming for an hour or more just saying over and over again how hard it is, how her head is filled with bad thoughts, how she wants to play with Sophie but she can't---it isn't fair. Up until recently we have been trying to make her happy whenever she gets sad and missing Soph, the past few weeks we have been trying to let her know that it is fine to be angry, upset, sad sometimes...well she really took that to heart. It was heartbreaking to watch, but I think good for her. She has a fever tonight---I wonder if we will ever get over being terrified everytime she is sick...I'm sure neither of us will get much sleep tonight. She really needs a little sibling to play with...not sure what to do about that, although I know we won't have another one...anyone out there have a baby or two-year old they don't want, drop me a line....seriously, if you are thinking about starving, beating, or doing any other horrible things to your children (Baby Grace...) think again...think there are parents out there who would give anything to have what you are so carelessly throwing away (Whoa..where did that come from)

Ok-that's all for this post....thanks to all the amazing people in our lives (you know who you are)