Frustration so bad it makes you cry

It's been such a rough week. We are still waiting on Anne Marie's test results to make sure her spleen and liver are functioning normally...it has been almost two weeks since the first test and a weeks since the other two--results were supposed to be back in 1-3 days, so we are very stressed out. It might bode well that we haven't heard, assuming that bad news would travel faster, but we're not always thinking rationally right now and we need some peace of mind...losing a child makes you extra paranoid about the other ones, at least in the immediate aftermath.

Also frustrating is the lack of information about anatomic (congential) asplenia...oh there's all sorts of information out there about how to prevent sickness in death in a child that has anatomic asplenia...but HOW THE HELL IS ONE SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT IF THERE CHILD DOESNT HAVE A SPLEEN??????? There's several easy tests, ultrasound, blood smears that aren't all that expensive--but apparently the "cost-benefit" doesn't justify the $71 blood smear when they are infants, or the cost of an "organ check" ultra sound....does that seem right? I mean insurance pays for Viagra alot of times for *&%@*$ sake and lots of other things that might be important...but as important as a child's life? And anyone with the attitude that it wouldn't be worth saving one or two babies a year isn't a parent who lost their precious, amazing, sweet wonderful little girl way too early. Even if the incidence is .06% (6 tenths of 1 percent) that would be about 2,400 babies in the US alone who wouldn't die each year---2400....mon dieu. At 4 million US births for year, guessing $200 per screening it would be $8 million...a mere $3,000 per life saved--if I ever get that money I will start a foundation in Sophie's memory that will help children get screened for Asplenia at birth.

I guess I just feel angry today...maybe tomorrow will be better....