blood test, boxes, and bags (oh my?)

We are really hoping to get the results of Anne Marie's blood test this weekend so we can breathe easy knowing she will be o.k. They are doing three tests, one to test for the Howell-Jolly (http://www.answers.com/topic/howell-jolly-body) bodies, the presence of which indicate a missing or non-functioning spleen. Since we know Annie has a spleen this will tell us if hers is working. The other test is futher confirmation, something called a pit-count and the third is to test liver function to verify that something they saw on the ultrasound is not a problem. The chances are small that anything will be wrong with her, but after what we have been through it is difficult to have any peace without knowing for sure.

Last weekend I bagged and boxed most of Sophie's clothes, it was extremely difficult. I had to rush through it so I didn't stop and look at everything and remember. I couldn't part with the shoes, mostly because she loved shoes so much--she would bring her shoes, or Annie's (or mine or Mike's or Rachel's for that matter) up to you and have you put them on, then she loved to take them off....We don't want to eradicate her memory, and there is some stuff I will never be able to get rid of...like the little pink tutu that she loved to wear.

I miss her so much...which seems like such an obvious thing to say. An amazing little girl, I would love to kiss her, hold her, tickle her or even spend all night trying to get her to sleep again, it's really sinking in that this is real, that she is not coming back and it is so hard.