Thursday, March 5, 2009

Too Good to be True

So I had a bit of an ephiany today. In wondering why it has been so hard to do the things we need to do to move foward--get a new kitchen in the rental condo, exercise, set and keep goals--it occured to me that maybe subconsciously we don't want to move forward. Not for the obvious reason of leaving Sophia behind, but more because if life gets really good again something bad will happen. You know when Sophie was born, I had two healthy children, a great husband, house, job, Rachel.. I was dumbfounded because I never thought my life would be that good...i said as much to Mike all the time...like things were so good that I was worried something bad would have to happen to cancel it out. Of course I was thinking something more like me getting cancer or a tree falling through the roof. Anyway, I finally convinced myself that I was generally a good person and really deserved everything I had. Then Bam---it all was shattered. And that is why I think I am afraid to move forward....

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Things happen in life that we have no control over. You are a good mom and your family is lucky to have you.

Anabella

Unknown said...

Just checking in to see how you are doing...
Anabella