Last Tuesday Mike and I met with the ER doctor, his boss, the head nurse and a hospital administrator. I knew it would be tough, but I definately underestimated how difficult it would be. I started crying when we first walked in and pretty much didn't stop, thank goodness for Mike's strengh and ability to ask the really tough questions....and they were tough. First let me say that the doctors were very caring, and it was emotional for all of us. We did get answers to questions like why didn't you take blood...Apparently the advances in vaccinations that prevent so many of common bacterial infections (Pneumococcus, meningitis...) made it very unlikely that Sophia would have had anything like that (less than .3% apparently) and a blood test would have taken at least 12-24 hours to come back, so it would have been too late to save Sophia anyway.
Sophia also wasn't showing signs of being a very sick baby, she was interactive, alert and not lethargic when we were at the ER, so she didn't give the doctor indication that she was on her way into septic shock. The doctor told us that in his 20+ years of practicing medicine he has never seen a baby get a fever and die as quickly as Sophie did. Not having a spleen just made it so fast and overwhelming.
We are still processing everything, I do feel much less anxious now though, and I believe that the hospital staff is sincere, that they had done an internal review and belive that they did the best they could given the circumstances. I miss Sophia so much, the feel of her cheek against mine, what it felt like to hold her, and even her streaking down the hall when I was trying to dress her. Anne Marie, especially, seems to feel the loss of her sister's presence lately and I wish I could take her pain away. We have coffee cups that have a little cartoon of each of us on them and yesterday Annie asked me if we shouldn't wash Sophie's picture off because she is dead--it took everything I had not to lose it.
We are still working on getting some answers regarding the status of Annie's spleen(s) and to make sure she has all the protection she needs. I think the Children's doctors may be able to help us with that, so I am going to follow-up with them right now......
Sophia also wasn't showing signs of being a very sick baby, she was interactive, alert and not lethargic when we were at the ER, so she didn't give the doctor indication that she was on her way into septic shock. The doctor told us that in his 20+ years of practicing medicine he has never seen a baby get a fever and die as quickly as Sophie did. Not having a spleen just made it so fast and overwhelming.
We are still processing everything, I do feel much less anxious now though, and I believe that the hospital staff is sincere, that they had done an internal review and belive that they did the best they could given the circumstances. I miss Sophia so much, the feel of her cheek against mine, what it felt like to hold her, and even her streaking down the hall when I was trying to dress her. Anne Marie, especially, seems to feel the loss of her sister's presence lately and I wish I could take her pain away. We have coffee cups that have a little cartoon of each of us on them and yesterday Annie asked me if we shouldn't wash Sophie's picture off because she is dead--it took everything I had not to lose it.
We are still working on getting some answers regarding the status of Annie's spleen(s) and to make sure she has all the protection she needs. I think the Children's doctors may be able to help us with that, so I am going to follow-up with them right now......
No comments:
Post a Comment