Will life ever be normal again? I can't imagine that it will, we did go on vacation last week and it was nice to get away, very relaxing. Right before we left we got a call from the director at the ER where Sophie was seen the night she died....they are willing to meet with us to talk, which is helpful. We are trying to schedule that now. She answered some of my questions like:
Why didn't they take her blood pressure? Apparently they don't take it in kids that young, they don't find it to be useful, in her case it seems like it would have been one of the few things that could have saved her, surely her blood pressure was dropping by then, only a few hours before she died? She didn't answer my other question about why they didn't take blood, I still struggle with trying to understand how an asplenic child EVER survives a sepsis infection, because what would prompt the doctors to ever check for it...I will want to ask about it for sure. She told me that she didn't think that even if they had for some reason started IV antibiotics right then they could have saved her...I find that somewhat hard to swallow, when we got to the ER she had a fever for 2 hours tops......if she wasn't sick enough for them to register something was seriously wrong.
Anyway, I am happy to have a chance to meet with them, although I know it will be very hard, at least we don't have to sue them just to get some answers. And I am sure they must have cleared it with their legal department who must feel that they did everything right, so that gives me some peace too.
In general, 11 weeks from the single most horrible day of my life, I am less anxious, sad but not as much, and maybe moving toward acceptance, I don't know......
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